i get the feeling when i'm alone sailing on the high notes of song ,
no one knows i can sing.
i get it when he looks at me and whispers to me the things he should never have said.
i get it when she hugs me and i smell the scent of lilacs the drifts around her.
i get it when he smiles and twists my words into some clever battle of wits.
i get it when she (although so different from me in mind and body),
embraces me as her family.
i get it when he lifts me to the air and shouts " squirt, i missed you!".
i get it when the fine line from me to the character breaks and i am engulfed in the vast wasteland of someone other than myself and are free.
i get it when i'm back in his arms and the part of me i felt missing is placed back just by his understanding , and his blind love for me.
then i am dragged away,
my song ends,
i am placed in bondage ,
and the loved voices ... fade to only a distant painful memory.
the feeling is now hard to find and i am sucked so deep into myself that i feel so much i believe it will destroy me!
and then ... nothing.